About My Friend Stephen Robbins, Q.C.

[Fraser Allonby Q.C.]

He's large and round and mentally deficient,
His stained pantaloons are no longer sufficient,
To constrain his bulging, corpulent thighs,
Blossoming daily on a diet of pies.

He swaddles his legs in giant dungarees,
Sadly they will not clear his knees,
I've ne'er seen legs thus wrapped,
Save 'pon the handicapped.

He daily feasts 'pon curried buns,
Delivered to his chambers, despatched in tons,
Pity his clerks, who quake with fear,
When their time comes to wipe his rear.

[England Awaken!]

The world is a terrible place, full of freaks and other benighted creatures. God forgive us all!

[Fraser Allonby Q.C.]

How true. Several of my colleagues at the bar are (how can I put this delicately?) fat.

[Daphne]

There are few things more horrid than a corpulent lawyer.

[alex]

Great poem.. brought to mind a woman called Joan who I once knew on another poetry site.... I doubt she has the capacity to wipe her own arse either!

[Daphne]

Now that's a bit rude. Tut tut.

[Ponia-šiknius]

I laughed very loudly when I read this poem as it reminded me so much of someone I know who is a fat greedy pig who lords it over his staff. I mean my boss. Thank Heavens he will never read what I think about his lardy great arse.