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Post by Barry Hodges, Bard of Gosforth on Nov 23, 2011 18:00:09 GMT
People think that Rome is a beautiful city, Full of churches, capuccini and espressi and latte And handsome singing waiters with snake hips, A place where it's easy to get a really nice spaghetti all vongole. But there is another side to the Eternal City, A side darker than Donny Darko's darkside, Believe me, I know, I have been there, my dears, And I have seen it in all its hideous fearfulness.
I was wandering gaily around the Vatican City, With my deformed nephew in his nice new shiny wheelchair, When a gang of sex-mad Roman Catholic priests, (probably criminal immigrants from rural Donegal), Sky-high on communion wine and full of hallucinogenic pizza, Attacked us, mugged us, gave us a right regal thumping, And we tried to run - but, O terrible twist of fate, My nephew's malfunctioning wheelchair hindered our escape.
And those evil Paddies left him lying there in the gutter, His brain (never good at the best of times) pulverised, And for what? They objected to his gobbing at some religious relics, A lump of phlegm having landed in a sensitive spot. And thus he spent a miserable half-alive existence For a few weeks in a garlic-infested smelly hospice; Dear God, I will probably not go to Rome again in a hurry, Especially bearing in mind the unfavourable exchange rate And the high risk of the Euro going down the toilet.
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Post by Daphne on Nov 28, 2011 12:43:30 GMT
The last 2 lines are gems and well worth wading through the others for.
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Post by johnny nobody on Dec 15, 2011 11:36:54 GMT
I once went to rome and I got diarrheoa from eating wop crap
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Post by weewatto on Jan 5, 2012 11:49:51 GMT
He should have thanked himself lucky (before his tragic and untimely demise - assuming he had one, the account is inconclusive) that all they pulverised was his brain, what with them being filthy whoring Catholic *spits* clerics and all.
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Post by Rosetta on Feb 3, 2012 16:59:26 GMT
I have been to Rome and it can be a bit much with all those priests and nuns.
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Post by Barry Hodges, Bard of Gosforth on Jan 5, 2015 15:46:47 GMT
The Roman Spring of the Rosetta Stone?
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Vladimir the one-legged Voyeur
Guest
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Post by Vladimir the one-legged Voyeur on Feb 8, 2015 15:28:44 GMT
A great poem. You must watch out for the paddies.
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