Post by weewatto on Oct 19, 2011 13:26:03 GMT
Actually wrote this three years ago and going back through my allpoetry archive has been pretty interesting, especially as the situation that inspired this is still going on. Go figure. Not sure I'd write it the same now, but still....
I can’t look at you.
You said it again.
Hot saltwater stings my cheeks;
I make out I’m stifling a sneeze.
All so you won’t see,
Won’t hear, won’t know.
Your babble continues,
Your plans laid out in your
Excitement, your wish
To share them with me –
Because that’s what friends do, isn’t it?
You talk, and talk,
And punch the buttons,
Your nettlingly beautiful smile
Grows as you hear her voice
On the other side of the world.
I’m forgotten, for a moment.
Turning, busying myself with
Nonsense, my insides scream
Outward in silent slashes,
Burning, breaking imagined glass
Into shards turned in on me,
Anything to mask this rage,
This dive, this plunge into
“I love you, you know?”
Yes, you love me, I know.
Years of joshing, teasing,
messing, watching our lives
Change, diverge, meander, rejoin
To this – what we are now.
Friends.
And that’s good, I still have you,
Can still hold you when you need it,
Call you when I need to,
Drink you in when the world pushes back.
But I can’t look at you.
You said it again.
Yes, you love me, I know.
The perfect parody of banshee rage
Inside me as I hear your words
But they’re not what I want;
Not these, not with the
Brisk hug and shove
Of mates,
But those,
That she gets, the one across the world;
To have part of you is not
Better than none at all,
They lie.
I can’t look at you.
You said it again.
Hot saltwater stings my cheeks;
I make out I’m stifling a sneeze.
All so you won’t see,
Won’t hear, won’t know.
Your babble continues,
Your plans laid out in your
Excitement, your wish
To share them with me –
Because that’s what friends do, isn’t it?
You talk, and talk,
And punch the buttons,
Your nettlingly beautiful smile
Grows as you hear her voice
On the other side of the world.
I’m forgotten, for a moment.
Turning, busying myself with
Nonsense, my insides scream
Outward in silent slashes,
Burning, breaking imagined glass
Into shards turned in on me,
Anything to mask this rage,
This dive, this plunge into
“I love you, you know?”
Yes, you love me, I know.
Years of joshing, teasing,
messing, watching our lives
Change, diverge, meander, rejoin
To this – what we are now.
Friends.
And that’s good, I still have you,
Can still hold you when you need it,
Call you when I need to,
Drink you in when the world pushes back.
But I can’t look at you.
You said it again.
Yes, you love me, I know.
The perfect parody of banshee rage
Inside me as I hear your words
But they’re not what I want;
Not these, not with the
Brisk hug and shove
Of mates,
But those,
That she gets, the one across the world;
To have part of you is not
Better than none at all,
They lie.