Written as a hidden track to be included on our forthcoming album. Only Ian thinks it's frivolous and won't let me put it on there. It WILL be on there, rest assured.
It’s not that much to ask,
quite a reasonable request -
I’ve never wanted anything
I’ve never been a pest;
In a world that’s ever sadder,
ever grimmer by the day,
one simple thing is all it takes
to blow it all away -
whoever’s up there, listen please,
I’ll ask you every day;
oh why can’t Rufus Sewell be my boyfriend?
He’s a curly haired devilboy
made to make my heart beat faster,
we could sit in Roma everyday
supping Chianti, eating pasta.
Irish Sea eyes, sweeping lashes,
I wouldn’t even need the man
to grow a lush beard or moustaches
to rock the chassis of my campervan -
whoever’s up there listen please,
I’ll ask you every day;
oh why can’t Rufus Sewell be my boyfriend?
Those yankeedoodledandies
can keep their claws away,
my Britflick brooding bachelor
can RP my pants away
The only covers he needs to grace
are the ones on my superkingsize;
he can set up camp, spend all his days
between these ample thighs -
whoever’s up there listen please,
I’ll ask you every day;
oh why can’t Rufus Sewell be my boyfriend?