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Post by alex on Sept 27, 2011 19:46:31 GMT
This afternoon I walked my goats,
we passed by a river filled with boats.
It was a lovely day, the sun was bright
but the air was pungent with my goats' shite.
Some children playing in the school field
stroked my goats 'til the school bell pealed.
We strolled on merrily down the winding lane
and tomorrow we'll probably do the same.
Any comments welcome. Thank you ;D
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Post by Daphne on Sept 27, 2011 22:53:38 GMT
I think the bit I liked best was the word "shite". This is a much more refined way of referring to doo-doo than the normal 4 letter version. I think it Scottish. Certainly northern. Possible related to the German Scheiss.
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Post by alex on Sept 27, 2011 23:16:51 GMT
so you think my poem is shite? Well, that's a good start then. Cheers !
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Post by Daphne on Sept 27, 2011 23:30:37 GMT
No, I didn't say that. I thought the poem was touching in its naiveté and innocence. The meaningless of such an existence was well caught. I merely stated that I have always LOVED the word "shite" and I praised you for its poetic use here.
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Post by alex on Sept 27, 2011 23:39:42 GMT
ah thank you. I will definitely write another one tomorrow then whilst I am walking my goats. We will take a different route so the poem won't be the same as this one. :-)
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Post by Daphne on Sept 28, 2011 10:09:34 GMT
Where do you live? You could post the location under your pen-name by modifying your profile. If you live in say, the Greek Islands, you would be at an advantage goatwise.
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Post by alex on Sept 28, 2011 10:14:54 GMT
I live in Mongolia, but I would much prefer to live in the Greek Islands as the climate here isn't so hot. My goats get very cold in the long winter months and have to wear cardigans and hats.
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Post by alex on Sept 28, 2011 19:30:27 GMT
Why has no-one else commented on my poem? I have spent many hours reading others' poems and leaving glowing feedback.... it's not fair! :-(
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Post by Engelbert Humpalot on Oct 31, 2011 19:00:27 GMT
Here I am, Alex, I have just joined the site after receiving a personal invitation and I shall make a point of commenting on some of your poems. But first, what is this thing about goats please?
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Post by alex on Nov 1, 2011 0:42:25 GMT
... don't know what you mean by ''what is this thing about goats please''.
What is this THING about joining a poetry site and not posting any poems?
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Post by Daphne on Nov 1, 2011 10:47:44 GMT
I think you will find Engelbert Humpalot has posted a couple of tasty poems.
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Post by weewatto on Nov 2, 2011 11:19:16 GMT
Alex Alex Alex.... utterly adorable. I love the sense of futility and unfulfilled destiny in this piece, and you're so right, goats are capable of so much more than just wandering and tolerating the physical abuse of a bunch of youths on a daily basis. Marvellous penning, dear poet.
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